Finding love or forcing fate? Here are my thoughts.
By Sara Utsugi
As a 19 year old college sophomore, I know that dating can be a struggle. During this time in my life, everyone is at such a different place. Some people are ready to settle down. Some people are still having fun and testing out the waters. And others are just starting to dip their toes into the dating pool. For me, I decided that I would give Tinder (and now Bumble) a chance. I was at a place where I was open to meeting people, and if something were to happen, I would potentially let it progress. There was nothing to lose, only to gain.
When I first downloaded the Tinder app, I was really excited but also sort of nervous. In high school, there was a stigma about Tinder, and I had to put my worries and pride down to put myself out there and finally join the Tinder community! While making my profile, I actually did some brief research on what pictures to use via Wikihow (really credible, I know). I was told to pick flattering pictures (duh), include one with friends, make sure they could tell what I looked like, and to limit action shots of the super attractive faces I make while playing volleyball. I picked my pictures, and to swiping I went!
Now for me, this is when it got fun, slightly addicting and also very entertaining. Swiping gives you this sense of power. It was like, “No, boy on my phone I don’t like you. Goodbye.” *dramatically swipes left* While fun at first, the entire concept of swiping left or right on people is the exact opposite of the whole “don’t judge a book by its cover” concept. Initially, I refused to blindly swipe based on looks and went through each person’s profile, heavily stalking their attached Instagram pictures before deciding which way to swipe. While the process was time consuming, it helped me weed out any possible bad seeds. However, my system produced roughly 12 matches in two weeks, so I caved and fell into the trend of swiping based on looks then judging later.
Seeing the pictures guys used as their first photo was probably the most entertaining part. Now, unless you’ve used Tinder, you would not believe how many guys use the Snapchat dog filter as their first pictures. We all know that on Tinder, your first picture has to be an attention grabber, but the dog filter just isn’t the way to do it. Some men do the basic shirt-off-flexing-with-dog picture, but my favorite I’ve seen is a guy who was flexing and did have his shirt off, but he also had a baby strapped on to him with a dumbbell in one hand and a vacuum in the other...marry me? Between Bumble and Tinder, Bumble definitely has hotter guys. I found myself swiping right more often than I did on Tinder, but I don’t like that women have to message first on Bumble.
Below are some real conversations I had with men from different dating apps.
After giving both Tinder and Bumble their fair chances, I’ve decided that dating apps aren’t for me. I went on one Tinder date and one Bumble date. While thankfully both guys turned out to be normal and actually really nice, it felt like I was forcing fate. Call me a romantic, but I love the idea of never knowing when I’m going to meet Mr. Right. By signing onto dating apps, it made the entire dating process seem too easy. Yes, I still had to go on a date and win the guy over, but there was no chase. My attraction was confirmed with a swipe of my finger, and that lacks that excitement that I crave in my love story. While I’ve heard many success stories, dating apps just aren’t for me right now. (But I'll admit, I still log on every now and then for the hell of it.)
These are my personal thoughts on dating apps, but I want to hear what you think!
What are your thoughts on dating apps?
Have you tried them before?
Dating horror stories?
Dating success stories?